A Deeper Truth | A Full Week of Humans
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A Full Week of Humans

A Full Week of Humans

This week was full.  I haven’t worked such a full week in a while.  It wasn’t just full of work and clients and group work.  It was full of experience and emotion and thought and reflection.  I was angry and sad and fascinated and annoyed and intrigued and content and irritated.  It was full of others’ life experience.  It was full of others’ drama and silly bullshit.  I was frustrated that I was back in a job where I have to deal with such dysfunctional bullshit.  And then another moment would occur when I was listening to a client describe their experience, their addiction, in a way I hadn’t heard before…in a way I hadn’t paid attention to before.

I learned about myself this week.  I was myself this week.  I was angry and excited and irritated and warmed.  I gathered new information to my understanding of the world and of addiction.  When I truly listen and get inside another’s experience I learn so much about the nature of life.  While I reflect so much on my own life it always amazes me how others can have similar, yet very different experiences.

What I listen for are root-lines of human nature running down into the ground from their lives.  I want to help clients extrapolate not only their lived experience, but the deeper existential truth that we can all learn from in their unique and personal experience.

So I learned this week.  I struggled this week.  I wanted to fucking scream this week.  The week was full — full of experience and human.  I realize that while I crave the deepest and fullest understanding of human nature, I also realize the draining and utter irritating experience it is to be so tangled up with other humans.  Addiction group therapy provides that more than any other experiences I’ve had.  I cannot escape myself and I cannot escape others.  It’s fucking maddening.  It’s a learning that is fast and deep and quick and alarming.  It usually just makes me want to flee.  But when I stay and tangle and show up, I am rewarded with the most real and authentic engagement one can have.

Human beings are complicated and downright frustrating.  I love them and I hate them.  I want them and I don’t want them.  I hate what they show me about myself – fuckers.

So yea, this week was full.  But good.

2 Comments
  • Shawn Smucker
    Posted at 09:26h, 12 November Reply

    Good stuff. I’m glad you’re back.

    • JMac
      Posted at 10:21h, 12 November Reply

      Thanks Shawn.

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