How to Be an Angry Father
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How to Be an Angry Father

How to Be an Angry Father

It’s not hard. You start with not taking very good care of yourself and having no real extracurricular activities to fill your tank. It’s best to have a very empty tank. Then you work a busy job, come home, looking for some quiet. If you really want this to work, you should have a house that is too small for your large family because it will then be impossible to find the quiet you were hoping for.

Next, get some children that make a lot of noise and stay in close proximity to everyone else. This way you maximize on the amount of chaos in the air which is key to losing it. It is also preferable that you have multiple children close in age. This way there’s lots of fighting and bickering – this works amazingly.

As well, make sure your children do things you hate like get lots of water outside the tub or leave things all over the floor or leave doors open or complain about the food or take too long to get ready or talk too much in general.

After you’ve taken care of the above, then you just start yelling at the top of your lungs, sometimes allowing expletives to fly across the room. You basically become a fire breathing dragon incredible hulk sort of combo character. Once you’re done having your daddy tantrum you huff and puff and look and feel angry so everyone knows to leave you alone and stop doing whatever it was they were doing. Now you mean it! It’s best to keep a real ugly asshole face on for a while.

Last but not least, an angry father wouldn’t be an angry father without all the guilt he feels after being an asshole. Asshole guilt is key to appropriate remorse and it also helps to keep your bucket empty which, if you recall up above, is key to being a superbly angry father.

Good luck. You can do it.

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