20 Jan My Awkward Time with God This Morning
So I tried to spend some quiet time with God this morning and this is how it went in the form of an analogy.
I’m in seventh grade and the most beautiful girl in the school wants to talk to me. Her friends have told me so and my friends have told me so. I am not sure. Do I talk to her? Do I care about girls? I don’t know. Maybe I’d rather play video games.
When I start to see her I avoid her. She almost has a powerful energy about her. She’s too much. Now I’m ducking and weaving through the halls to get to classes. I quickly grab my books from my locker, swivel the head, and beat it.
What’s wrong with me, I think to myself. The most beautiful girl in the school wants to talk to me and I’m running around like the police are after me. My friends keep telling me I should talk to her. She’s really nice they say.
One day I turn the corner of the hallway into another hallway and she’s right there in front of me, coming in the opposite direction. I freeze. Stand still. “Ummmm” is the best I can do. She says hi. I can’t look her in the eye. I look down and sort of kick my feet awkwardly. She asks how I’m doing. Good. Then I ask her if she’s seen the new Batman movie. Where did that come from? She says no. Oh, I say. Then I crack a joke and it isn’t funny. My mind is fluttering like a frantic butterfly and the other part of me is running around trying to catch it. She’s just standing there.
Well, I gotta go, I say, and then run off down the hall. Wow, that was meaningful.
So that’s how my time with God went this morning. Not sure what time with God is supposed to be like. I think I want him to stop everything and talk to me. I have this vision of me praying and asking for his assistance and then all of a sudden he comes through the door breathing heavily because he’d just been out for a run. As he catches his breath and sits on the couch he says, “what, what, what? I got here as quick as I could. What’s this all about?” It would seem that he doesn’t show up in this kind of way.
Maybe he shows up when you’re doing the dishes, I don’t know. He probably shows up more when you least expect it and he jumps from around the corner and just yells “Boo!” and that’s it, then he’s gone. I don’t know, maybe he’s not that juvenile. Sure feels a bit like a game though. I guess I just have to keep showing up.